I agree, the accent totally dissapears after Timmy is given the turtle, really a down side. Plus you didn't really end it with a joke or punchline or anything similar. This sounded more like a voice reel, kind of like a resumé for a voice actor. Really not that interesting to listen to.
As most of it was good, especially the last part was really not believable, It sounded more like a joke between two people or something only you invision in your head. Kind of like when you're telling a really complicated story but don't have any pictures. It's unclear and after a while no one is going to want to follow it anymore.
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